US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.